Live while we're young

it wasn’t as bad as i make it. it’s created me.

a major part of my year was my first boyfriend & quite possibly my first love. & i think that’s what has made this year so bearable. he made me grow up a little. if it weren’t for him, i wouldn’t have had the slightest idea of what love is, as if i even know now.

but after we broke up, it was only a mere 2 months, i became closer to people i didn’t think i would ever be friends with. amy, amanda, saipriya. even shades, though after disney we were really close. but these people, i’ve realized, are fine with who i am. other friends i have can’t accept me when i have weird moments & if i had told her that i’ve been drunk, that i’ve had a few random hookups, that i have wanted to smoke for the longest time, she would look down on me & make me feel like crap. these people deal with my stupidity & accept it. & for that, i thank 2010.

the only downfall is the heartache, which comes & goes. but that, i’ll fix…eventually.

this is going to be a long ass night. party?
yep. i want to party. i had a story, a ride, EVERYTHING. & my parents just said that i have to bring in the new year with the family. but the thing is, we’re NOT a family. we pretend to give shits about each other…we don’t. so yep, i’m going to be in terrible reflection of this year. which will turn into 20 half songs, make me into a moody catty bitch, & an additional 20 posts to tumblr. so i hope you’re looking forward to it.
&if you don’t want to read my obnoxious drama queen attitude, continue scrolling past this.